agony and irony or... starting over

it's safe to say that i never really took my blogging, or my promises to blog, that seriously... however it is better to say that i never really blogged in the first place, i just more of ranted about whatever was pissing me off at the time (and lets face it i barely did that)... and it's safest of all to say that when i did "blog" no one gave a shit... therefore my old blogs of the past, as pleasing and self satisfying as they were, are no more...they have been deleted and currently burn in the fires of the hades of all prose where all terrible bits of writing end up... including, but by no means limited to, joseph conrad and his "heart of darkness" (fuck you existentialism), the book of mormon (really joeseph smith?), the scripts to the bionic woman series (ugh...bionic woman), and of course the no child left behind bill.

and with that, the past is behind us. what i plan to do now with my blog is stick to a strict schedule of updating 7 days a week... to accomplish this i have set a broad topic for each blog. the schedule is as such (starting with tuesday for the obvious reason that today is tuesday) :

tuesday- "100% positive" where i do a complete blog with no negativity what so ever... expect most to be very short.

wednesday- "politics and religion"... by this time in the week usually my dad and i end up arguing politics, where i defend my views of social liberalism and fiscal responsibility against his right-wing neoconservatism, bomb 'em all, "the surge worked so the bush presidency was a success", all arabs want us dead, foot hold in the middle east mentality. if i don't summarize the defence of my views via blog against my dad, i will discuss some other political something or other that is sure to upset at least 48% of the population and if that doesn't work i'll talk about religion and if that doesn't work i'm drawing a picture of the prophet muhammad.

thursday- "thursday 13" where i will make a list of 13 things regarding a topic and discuss in usual witty banter style those 13 things and why they belong on the list... i must admit that this idea was stolen from trina who's blog can be found beneath the "seriously my mouth" link in my little sidebar thingy

friday- "photo fun friday" where i will post one of my photographs and then subsequently talk about it... and by talk i mean type. the friday topic was originally going to be called foto-fun friday for reasons of alliteration, however those of you who have read "roots" know that this title takes on greatly different meanings than the first... for those who have no idea what i'm talking about read "roots" by alex haley and you will be enlightened ... i think it's in the first 5 chapters.

saturday- "person of the week" where i will pick a person from my week and discuss them and the various attributes that qualify them to be my person of the week. as opposed to a normal blog's "person of the week", mine will be inconsistent and will vary in criteria for being picked... this topic, therefore, may include a person who pissed me off the most that week, someone i've talked to that week, someone in the news, an actor or -tress from a film or television show i watched that week, someone dead, someone alive, a person who i passed on the street, a group of people (including clubs, races, professions, or the french)...etc. now some may say "how can you say an entire group of people is your person of the week?" and to those people i say, "push the 'next blog' button on the top of the page," because everything from here out will probably irritate you.

sunday- "the world's most difficult questions" where i answer the questions that seem to plague the human race in no uncertain terms... questions of a more philosophical nature or even questions of a rhetorical nature that i feel i need to answer anyway.

monday- "in the life of mike zafiroff" where i talk about my life in general

this blog is no longer an option for me it is now my number 1 priority right behind work, and school, and family, and my girlfriend, and my music, and my photography, and my friends, and karaoke, and sleep, and eating, and my time in the bathroom, and showering, shaving and other hygienic practices, and watching tv, and reading... other than those things this blog it top priority.

so join me on what is sure to be an adventure of letters jumbled together to hopefully form coherent thoughts; an expedition of verb, noun, adverb, articles, parentheses, and of course adjective; a journey of text and pictures; an indisputable voyage of verbal onslaught; this quest of undeniable literary masturbation... and hopefully, if i can keep with this ambitious agenda i have set for myself, it will be an entertaining and enjoyable experience for all those reading (by which i mean those with absolutely nothing better to do with their time).